I know now that I was incredibly lucky. Some women weren’t. To them, and their families, the danger became real.

Even in our enlightened days, the saying goes that women give sex for love, while men give love for , who specialised in entering the homes of attractive, successful single women as they slept.

Once awake, they were subjected to a terrifying ordeal of reassur-ance, tenderness, affection. In the end he gently coaxed them into bed: no sign of force or violence. Indeed, he did his best to satisfy them; a few even asked him to come back.

Eventually found out, he went on trial accused of countless serial rapes. The prosecution had a hard time getting victims to testify. They were so deeply ashamed ? not of having been raped, but of having offered no resistance.

The defence claimed all encounters had been consensual. His only crime was that of entering people’s homes. The man himself said it was never his intention to hurt anyone. He just wished to introduce these lonesome women to the nature of true love. The only way to open up their hearts of steel was by catching them off guard. One day they’d thank him for easing off their armour of cold self-sufficiency.

The victim impact reports were decisive. His actions obviously left them with a trauma as bad as the most vicious, violent attacks.

He was given a long prison sentence. And a whole female popul-ation breathed a sigh of relief.

Women said to marry well often marry badly. I pity any bride who receives congratulations on having captured an eligible man. For this implies that she has somehow got more than she deserves; that her groom had been expected to attract something better.

Whether it is looks, age, wealth or education, background, status or any other mundane criteria, by which the world measures human value, the message comes across clearly: she is lucky; he is not.

It doesn’t augur well for the woman’s future. She’ll be conde-mned to a life-long struggle trying to prove them all wrong: showing her husband’s family and friends that he didn’t make a mistake in choosing her.

The battle is hard to win, for no amount of hard work, self-sacrifice or moral rectitude will ever change the facts of her beginnings; gain her the esteem initially denied her.

She will always have difficulty asserting herself, even within her own family. Children detect such weakness and are quick to take advantage, which will further undermine her. Think of any spoilt, indulged or unruly children you know. Aren’t they usually the product of a mother unsure of her role in the home 

It’s interesting how this trap, in which so many women are caught, does not seem to swallow up men.

All one can say is: No woman should be allowed to marry, before she knows her own full worth.

On television I saw a program about zebras. Apparently, within a large herd, the males look after their families. Each one has a few females and foals, for whom he is responsible.

He leads them, drives them and directs them, shelters and protects them; seeks out water and new pastures; takes the front-line in face of any danger.

It struck me that, not so long ago, such was the role of males in our society. Men were figures of authority: instructors, guardians, providers ? at home if nowhere else.

Now with women’s independence, patriarchs are dying out. Instead we have two partners sharing the load. Much more satisfactory ? for the women. And, I suppose, some men.

But what about all those males, shy, insecure, uncertain of their masculinity, who, unsupported by their culture, fail to make the grade  Self-assured girls pick their mates with cruel distinction: usually favouring those strong, able and aggressive.

Think of all the myriad single mothers: for each one there is a man who in days gone by would have been the head of her household. Where are all these obsolete men  What becomes of them  Are they gay  Lonely  Desperate  Part of suicide statistics 

Somewhere in the course of evolution a human strand has been lost and a pool of victims created.