最纯洁、最神圣的感觉，是那些在我们孤独、平静时在心底所感受到的。这些感觉，不在乎任何人的赏识，也不去迎合任何一种需求。它们，就是我们的一部分。

原谅你的敌人，是一种甜蜜的乐趣。毕竟，你的尊严和道德在此时战胜了对手。没有什么东西比对手的原谅更能摧垮一个邪恶的人了。

如果一个你深爱的人犯下了伤害你的错误，让你失望，践踏了你的心，那就是另外一码事了。你怎么能够原谅他呢？然而，原谅却可以减轻已经造成的伤害，而你需要做的，仅仅是，宽恕。

当你真正想要的是让伤害你的人内疚，让他们知道任何愧疚都无法弥补他们的过错时，你就是在惩罚他们，即使是以毁掉你自己为代价。

痛苦是一种病；唯一的治愈方法就是原谅。但是，并不是每个人都有勇气去唤起内心的力量来作出这一壮举。

因此，我建议你，为了预防这种需要你谅解的事件发生，如果真的感到受伤，你要在一开始就坦白而诚实地说出你的感受，而不要等到那些伤害开始溃烂以后才让对方知道。

另一个安全的措施，就是要确保你的任何语言和行为都不要成为滋养这种危险的、深至于心的怨恨生长的温床。

对原谅的需要，如同缺乏原谅一样，都会让关系终结。

Ireland, 2000: The national conscience has been shattered by revel-ations of the ill-treatment of children in religious institutions.

Inconceivable but true: the most vulnerable members of our society, who, for a variety of reasons, did not receive their rightful share of love, care and protection, were incarcerated in homes, stripped of identity, left to starve and suffer, prey to predators who abused them.

The authorities knew about their plight but did little to relieve it. Why should anybody care about children of no consequence  They did not even have a vote!

The knowledge is disturbing but eased by the excuse that it all happened a long time ago. Thankfully, things have changed.

Nowadays, the most vulnerable members of our society, who, for a variety of reasons, do not receive their rightful share of love, care and protection, are sent out into the streets, stripped of identity, left to starve and suffer, prey to predators who abuse them.

The authorities know about their plight but do little to relieve it. Why should anybody care about children of no consequence  They do not even have a vote!

It will take more than a public outcry to change the way decision-makers feel about those wretches whose welfare depends on them.

A Connemara hotelier wrote a furious letter to the County Manager complaining that, in his area, renowned for outstanding natural beauty, major road repairs were consistently carried out in the height of the tourist season. If this wasn’t sabotage, he growled, it was an example of extreme professional insensitivity.

The County Engineer replied, politely and regretfully, explaining that, given the Irish climate,they had no option but to repair the roads in summer, as otherwise the tar wouldn’t set.

The hotel owner laughed when he told the story. “Years of anger and frustration ? and all due to my own ignorance!”

I was reminded of a man I knew, whose childhood had been overshadowed by the fact that, aged eight, he had been dispatched to relatives in the country, while his mother underwent treatment for cancer. To spare the boy, nothing was said about the cause for his removal.

He suffered through many weeks, assuming that he must have done something terrible to forfeit the right to his home and to his parents’ love. Even after he grew up and got his facts straight, the feeling of rejection persisted.

It’s staggering to think that, even as we speak, countless lives and relationships are being ruined by virulent, destructive feelings generated by pure misconceptions.