我的儿子有一只黑白相间的宠物兔子，它总是会给我们种种惊喜。它被训练得很乖，从不在房间里随地大小便。它爱玩一个小玩具，有时会在它自己篮子里的手柄上来回转悠。

它喜欢看早间新闻，跟我们其他人一起坐在沙发上。偶尔用它的后爪碰碰遥控器，或是趁我不注意时在我的杯子里吸几口茶。

这只小兔子简直就是我们生活的一部分，我们无法想象没有它的日子会怎样。

两年后，它没能逃过“流感”，这是一种很少有兔子能躲过的灾疫。我当时给兽医打电话，医生也答应来了，赶来回60英里的路来救我们的小宠物。

在等待的时候，我把它放在我的大腿上，想给它喂点水。它虚弱而平静地躺在我的身上，姿势看起来并不像往常那么自然。它把头舒适地倚在我的胳膊上，看了我一眼。那根本就不像是一只小兔子的眼神。

后来，我意识到那是一种感谢，感谢我当时陪着它，感谢我对它的关心和爱。在那一刻，我突然有一种少有的感觉，那是最纯洁、毫无杂质的爱的形式：剥离了私欲的、仅仅作为一种神秘力量存在的爱。

我感觉到这种爱从我的体内散发出去，像一把保护伞一样轻轻地把它包裹了起来，当它喘息着最后一口气的时候温柔地将它扶在我的手臂里。

我永远也不会忘记那只小兔子和那种感觉，那是它以及任何生命可以给予的、对生命的启示。

During a brief acting career, I appeared in an obscure play at a backstreet theatre. My part was a real challenge, furiously rehearsed for weeks.

On the second night after opening, I was aware of a strange lack of response from the house. Believing there was something lacking in my performance I tried a little harder ? and harder still. No improvement.

Only in the interval was the terrible truth revealed: There was no one in the audience. I was mortified. To this day I feel the blush on my cheek when I think of myself pouring my heart out ? to no one.

I quit acting soon after that. It obviously wasn’t the right choice for me, if a response was so essential.

By contrast think of an artist like Renoir, who went on producing pictures, day in day out, year after year, decade following decade. Nothing ever stopped him, no amount of discouragement, poverty or failure. He painted away, regardless of people’s opinions, in pure delight at his own creativity.

To be an artist merely for the return it may bring is as doomed as entering a relationship only for what you hope to get out of it: warmth, togetherness, intimacy, sex, security, money, status or whatever: The minute the reward is not forthcoming, it all comes to an end.

Love is like art: to survive it has to be genuine, sustained by its own imperative, and never requiring an applause.

A lot of people have a fear of commitment. I suppose what they really abhor is becoming dependent, handing over control. I can relate to that.

What I can’t understand is why anyone should want to control another, especially in the name of love. For if you attempt it, it leaves the other person with no option but to resist, evade or deceive you, or, worst of all, succumb to your will, in which case their personality expires, and you are stuck with what  A mollusc.

The symbiosis of domination, like any mutual dependence, is the enemy of love. Based on want, our greatest weakness, it makes us stunted, insecure. For if you rely on each other to fill the vacuum inside you, one of you is always bound to lose, as the other one dies, or simply moves on.

So ? if you wish to find a partner, foster your independence, over-come your needs. Thus released, you’ll have the best to offer: your own affluent heart.

Give freely of your love. One day you’ll come across another giver, and then it will all fall into place, without any restrictions. You’ll both be ready for the ultimate gift: that of commitment.